THE MOTHER OF ALL PARTIES
(Dave Barry)
Dave Barry has always had a way with words -- fact. There's just something about his writing that's just personably hilarious. Barry reflects on the traumas of raising a daughter in the Keeping Up With the Jones' ideology perpetuated by his well-meaning but overbearing wife bent on outdoing other moms who appear to love their children more based upon the outrageous time and money investment on a party the kids will likely forget the week later. His wife's dedication to the "Wizard of Oz" theme despite obvious safety hazards is all too common.
His turn of phrase and tongue-in-cheek monologue is unbelievably readable (the House of Really Slippery Surfaces is now my favorite department store). His theory of a dad-thrown birthday party was spot-on amusing. Nothing quite hits home like the fond memories of your parents arguing over such a supposedly joyous occasion as your day of conception – mum screaming at the top of her lungs about how the clown that was hired “just wasn’t good enough” and your dad marveling at how they managed to spend $200 on just feeding a battalion of 3rd graders. A happy birthday, indeed.
This classic Dave Barry column was published Jan. 25, 2004.
Also, as a footnote, this is the article I decided to use for the in-class article swap.
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